The Birds and the Bees

Every morning I used to wake up to the harmonious sounds of birds chirping. I like birds most of the time, unless they are annoying me. My first encounter with a bird was back in 1993 while I was working in Jackson Hole. (Sorry Liz to drag you into this, but this picture was too funny. And I think it answers the question why I am not a cowgirl. Nice belt.)
Now that I have proven that I lived in Jackson, bird story #1: I was riding my bike to work one day when I heard the sound of wings flapping. It was getting closer and closer. This was during my I'm too cool to wear a bike helmet stage, which played right into the birds plan. Before I had a chance to duck, the bird grabbed my hair with its claws or talons or whatever the bird had and pulled. It wasn't a big bird, I am guessing a crow or a raven, I really have no idea as it was behind me but it was for sure black. It let go. I start peddling as hard as I can and of course it was on the way to work which was uphill even though it didn't look like it. (Trust me, riding home was way easier and faster. Liz you can back me up). Then I hear the flapping again and am attacked again. This happens a few more times and then for reasons unknown it stops and my nightmares about birds begin. It only happened once, but that's pretty much all it takes to make a girl change her route to work and wear a bike helmet.

Bird story #2: One night, while Matt & I were living in the octagon, I heard a sound coming from the super classy lava rock fireplace. I told Matt that I thought a bird had fallen down the chimney and that he should try to shut something or put the grate thing over it. Not knowing that a person who has previously been attacked by a bird develops a 6th sense about birds he ignored me. He won't do that again. The next morning he woke up to an owl diving at him. Thank goodness David responded to Matt's frantic 6:00 am call or we might both still be locked in that bedroom. They managed to get the thing out (it was just a baby) but not before it pooped all over the whole place.

Last year we got a bargain on a grill cover. It's a nylon blue job that is supposed to protect the grill. It would if a certain someone would put it on after he grilled. Instead, it sat in a pile on the corner of our deck all winter long. One warm day, I decided that it was time we got our $5 worth and went to put it on the grill. My number one fear when I go do anything outside is that I will come across a mouse. I was mentally prepared to find a little rodent, but not for the 10 or so bees that were clinging to it. This is the only time I've been glad that our deck is tiny because it only took me one step to get back into the house and freak out behind the closed door.

So where am I going with all this? Bird story #3: The lovely sound I heard in the morning was the bird's joyful "we're building a nest in your grill" song. Apparently, if you don't cover your grill birds will think it's a location for a spring home. They fly in one side and out the other. If it wasn't my grill I might think it is adorable. The birds also attract the neighborhood cats one of which climbed up on our deck in hope of a quick dinner. (Which if that happened I would have to move. Did I mention that I am not a cat fan?) Things were getting bad and I really needed a hero. I informed Matt of his manly obligation to solve the problem and he gave Noah $1.50 to clean this out:
I wasn't going anywhere near the bees on the cover so I advised Matt that he better put it on. He didn't and this is what was accomplished by the next morning. I think they were trying to prove a point.
Finally, on Mother's Day, Matt cleaned out the nest and put the cover on. So far I haven't heard the birds. Which means that there are some homeless birds in Harvest Hills, better cover your grills.