I've got names running through my head like crazy. I've been typing and re-typing them for the last two weeks. Lots of Megans, Emmas, Jareds, Zacharys--normal names. And then there the unique names. When I see one, I immediately feel sorry for the poor kid. I've been there. I know what it is like to sit in class on the first day of school while the teacher reads the roll waiting for the pause--the how on earth do you pronounce this name pause. Klissann- it must look intimidating. The older I got the more I dreaded the pause. It meant unwanted attention.

I would love a normal name, something like my sisters: Michelle, Kelli, Lacey or Ashlee. How great would it be to go the the store and buy a pencil, sticker, license plate with my pre-printed on it? Why did my parents get so creative when it came to me?

Plenty of people have told me that they wish they had an unique name. That's just because they haven't thought it through. I spend my life spelling and explaining my name. I spell my name to nearly everyone and even then it usually ends up spelled with a C. But that is the least of my worries. The first letter is the easy part. I try; I'll say "it's like kiss with an L" or "ss like salt, sand, Sam, Santa...." All to no avail. While I worked in phone customer service I heard, "Cliff is a strange name for a girl" at least once a week. I wanted to correct them but what was the point? I dread giving my name over the phone. I will answer to almost anything: Cliff, Chris, Clifs maybe even Kliss if anyone ever got it right.

Then there is the explaining. I did it twice today. I appreciate that people are interested in my name. I am not. I've had it for nearly 34 years so I'm kind of over it. But people want to know where it came from. And I don't have a good story. Sometimes I'm lazy, I fib, and I say that my parents made it up. If I am feeling saucy, I'll go into the lore behind my name. How my my mom knew a girl in college named Kliss (I am not alone) and always wished that she had a different name. Mom wanted to name me Kliss Andra but Dad was against that so they went for Klissann. Sometimes people call me Klissandra. Sometimes people call me Klississippi. One guy called me Klisstopher Robin. Feel sorry for me yet?

Every once in awhile I Google my name, just to see who else is suffering. Kliss is also a last name. Which probably explains why people sometimes ask me for my first name after I say it. The fact that I married a Francis just adds to my pain.

With all the names I have seen lately, and the life I live, I feel like I can be considered an authority on the matter of names. So, before you give your child a crazy (some might say unique or unusual) name or name spelling think it through. I am fine if you want to mix it up a little with the spelling: Haylee, Hailey, Haeli, Hayleigh--whatever. Knock yourself out but just keep it legit. I am sorry but SCHUYLER, looks an awful lot like it should be pronounced "shoo-lar" not Skylar. And Gryphon? Really, I mean really. Come on people, help your kids out. Do you want to doom them to a life like mine? Are you certain that the innocent little baby you are naming is going to want to have attention drawn to them? When she makes cheerleader in 7th grade, do you want her name to be printed in the newspaper as Cliff?

My mom told me she doesn't have any regrets about my name. And for all my complaining I still haven't submitted name change papers. But at least once a day I wish for a simple, common name. I would have drawers full of personalized pencils and stickers. Oh, and no more of this: